Peg asked me on Tuesday morning soon after John died if I would do his memorial service. I was moved and honored that she asked me to officiate this service. John has meant so much to me over the past 15 years and it has been my privilege to marry his daughter, Sarah, and for John to be my father-in-law.
For all of us that knew and loved John, we knew him in different ways. To Peg, he was her husband, her life partner, and most loyal friend. To Pete, Bobby, Sarah, and Rebecca he was Dad. To David, Bobby, and Nancy he was the older brother they looked up to and loved. To Taylor and Emily he was Uncle John. To Evan, Kinsey, Mallory, Kerrigan, and Jackson he was “Pop-Pop.” And I know that Becky and Jonathan and Sarah and I will make sure that Parker and the twins know him as “Pop-Pop” as well. To many of you he was John, a friend.
John was 64 years young. He would have been 65 this July. 43 of his 65 years were spent with his wife Peg. When John and Peg married, Peg could do two things well, clean a bathroom and make brownies. John, being the oldest of four, was quite adept around the house and even taught Peg how to iron. However, John always ironed his own work shirts and did the dishes.
Most of us closest to John saw many OCD tendencies in him. He liked order. He wanted the dishwasher loaded a certain way. He liked a routine. His children learned to be heavy sleepers growing up. You see, John would decide to empty waste baskets in every room in the house, unload the dishwasher, and crack and empty ice trays at 3 am in the morning. Further, if you didn’t want something thrown away, it better not be left out for him to find. It didn’t matter if it was in your room or in your car, he would “clean” it for you and that meant things got thrown away that you didn’t want thrown away. If you left it on the floor it was trash to him.
In fact, John insisted that automatic icemakers in refrigerators were poor at making hard ice. Even until this day, if you go to Peg’s house you will have to crack your own ice because John couldn’t stand the thought of having a refrigerator with an automatic ice maker.
These are just a few of the eccentricities that made John, John. They say we all have different love languages. This means that we all show and receive love in different ways. John showed his love by doing things for you. Before John’s accident, every time Peg and John came to visit Sarah and I he would find out what I needed done. In the townhouse Sarah and I lived in when we were first married he put up chair rail up in our living room. At our first house, he bought me a shed because we didn’t have a garage and of course every man needs his own space. He built shelves for that shed, put up pegboard to hang my tools, and built a workbench in there for me.
I know that Pete, Bobby, and Becky had paper routes growing up. John would roll up the Sunday papers for them and drive them around to deliver them. Well, at least he did that for Becky since she was the baby. Pete and Bob might not have been so lucky. Another way you knew John loved you was because he would pick on you.
The first time I met John was on a date with Sarah. We went over to their house in Greenville and John was kicked up in his recliner watching tv. Anybody that didn’t know John would be intimidated by him during that first meeting. For one, he was quite an intimidating figure. And as Becky has pointed out to me numerously this past week while looking at wedding pictures of Sarah and I….I looked fresh out of high school about 60 pounds lighter than I am now. He acknowledged me with a grunt and never turned his eyes from the tv program he was watching. Over time though I knew I was cracking his shell because he started picking on me in a way that only John could. John had a searing sense of humor and dry wit that was unmatched by anyone I ever met. His children inherited this same trait and you better have thick skin if you wanted to be a part of this family. After John’s accident he became quite adept with inappropriate sign language…language I was on the receiving end of many times as I also pick on the people I love, as anyone can attest, and John was one of my main targets.
This past Thanksgiving I would watch the game that was on by positioning myself between where John was sitting and Pete’s 80 inch tv. John did not appreciate this, and I was awarded with a few choice words and a one finger salute, but this was part of our banter that communicated to one another love.
While I’m on the topic of the television…anyone that spent anytime with John or his children would learn that they all have a freakish ability to know the name of every actor on every tv show or movie ever released. In fact, they could give you a biography of each actor’s entire acting career. This is because John gave them all a great appreciation for movies and tv, maybe not the most wholesome of media, but definitely funny. Many nights and weekends were spent watching the small screen together. John could watch a movie over and over again and laugh just as hard each time he watched it. Anytime we were trying to figure out who played a character in some random flick or sitcom we could always call John and he, without fail, gave you the right answer. I’m continually amazed at the entertainment knowledge of Pete, Bobby, Sarah, and Becky. It is because of John that you would be fortunate to get any one of them on your team during a game of trivial pursuit. Like John, they all have a limitless amount of random knowledge that will leave you speechless.
Another thing that stuck out to me about John was that he loved babies. Most men are not like this. I, for example, dislike the baby stage, but John loved it. Peg said he was the same way with his children. John always wanted to hold his grandchildren. If you walked in the room with a baby Grandchild he would reach out his arms to hold that child and would sit with them as long as he could.
It turned out that after 4 grandchildren that John still had no boys as grandchildren. As a result, in the presence of many witnesses he promised to buy a car for the first grandson on his 16th birthday. I came through for John and I reminded him often that he owed Jack a car. I guess Peg is going to have to follow through on John’s promise now.
John was loved. I have learned the meaning of true love from John’s wife Peg. After the accident Peg missed being able to slow dance with John, but felt fortunate that they then seemed to hold hands all the time. You see, love is not an emotion or a feeling…love is sacrificial. 43 years of marriage is unheard of in today’s society. The reason that is, is because our country has lost the Biblical definition of love.
Scripture tells us that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us. John 3:16 tells us that “God so loved the world that God GAVE his only begotten son that whosoever believes in Him shall not perish but have everlasting life. Ladies and Gentleman that is love. Love is sacrifice. It is not self-serving it is serving others. Peg mentioned to me a couple of nights ago that she wanted to make sure I thanked all of your for your support of her and John over these past eight years. It is a journey that she couldn’t have taken alone and she wanted me to let each of you know how thankful she is to you. She also wanted to express her sincere appreciation for First Market Bank. She has been with First Market for 10 years and says that First Market is the most supportive company that anyone could work for. I too want to thank for on behalf of our family.
In closing, let me read the epitaph from a gravestone that is more than a hundred years old in a cemetery in Indiana. It reads,
Pause, stranger, when you pass me by:
As you are now, so once was I.
As I am now, so you will be.
So prepare for death and follow me.
This is a reminder just as today is a reminder that as long as Jesus tarries, every one of us must go through the experience of death. Knowing this, the most important thing in life is to get ready for it by putting all our faith and trust in Jesus Christ.
An unknown passerby to the gravestone I describe above scratched these additional words on the gravestone:
To follow you I’m not content,
Until I know which way you went.
This begs the question, “Can we really know in advance where we’re going when we die?” The answer to this question is a resounding yes! The Apostle John wrote in one of his letters, “I write these things to you who believe in the name of the Son of God so that you may know that you have eternal life (1 John 5:13). Folks we can be prepared for death. We can know for sure that we have eternal life. We can know for sure that we will go to heaven when we die. Do you?
I cannot properly close this service without sharing with you God’s plan to heaven. If you want to go to Disneyland, you just don’t get in the car and start driving hoping that the road will somehow get you there. Instead, you plan and you get a map and chart the course. Why would we not do the same as we prepare for heaven? Getting to heaven is worthy of much greater planning than we would give to any other journey. God has given us that map and all we have to do is follow it. That map is the Bible and it clearly shows us the way.
First, the Bible says that we all fall short of God’s Holy Standards, that we are all sinners and no matter how moral or good we may be it won’t be enough to get us into heaven. In fact, just one sin is enough to keep us out of God’s presence. Scripture says “ALL have sinned and fall short of the glory of God.” That includes me and it includes you. And that’s the first step, the first thing we all need to recognize. We are sinners.
Second, the Bible tell us that there is a penalty for sin. Romans tells us that the wages of sin is death. This doesn’t mean physical death but a spiritual one. The Bible is saying that sin, which we ALL have has a consequence and the consequence is death or in other words eternal separation from God. So the second thing we must know is that there is a penalty for sin, and that the penalty is death. So first, we are sinners, without exception. Second, the penalty for sin is eternal separation from God.
Thankfully, and thirdly the Bible tells us that God has provided a solution for our sin and for the penalty. I told you that the Bible says that “The wages of sin is death” but the verse DOES NOT end there. It goes onto say “but the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus.” And folks that’s the good news of the gospel. Jesus Christ, the son of God, became man, lived a perfect life, and died on Calvary to deliver us from our sin.” That’s John 3:16. 2 Corinthians 5:21 puts it this way, “God made him [Christ] who had no sin to be sin for us so that in him we might become the righteousness of God. This is the solution that God gave us. This means that even though we are under God’s wrath for our sins, Jesus died on the cross as our representative, our substitute…the Bible says that Christ was a propitiation for our sin. Christ paid the penalty and God poured his wrath on Christ Jesus instead of us.
And ladies and gentlemen I submit to you that no other prophet or religious figure—only Jesus, the Son of God—is worthy to pay the penalty for our sins demanded by God’s holiness. Jesus Christ said this himself when he said, “I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one come to the father, but through me.” We cannot pay our own way. “Salvation is found in no one else but Jesus, for there is no other name under heaven given to men by which we must be saved.” You say I don’t believe that. I don’t believe there is only one way. I tell you that it doesn’t matter if you believe it, you not believing the truth doesn’t make it NOT true.
Right before Christ died on the cruel rugged cross of Calvary he said, “It is finished.” During the first century, it was common to write across certificates of debt these same words. It meant, “paid in full”. Christ was fully God, yet fully man. He was without sin. He was crucified for our sins. But He rose from the grave, defeating sin and conquering death. Christ died so that the certificate of debt, consisting of our sins, could once and for all be marked, “paid in full.” And that is the third thing we all must recognize.
Because Christ paid the penalty for our sin, God freely offers us his forgiveness. But folks, forgiveness is not automatic. If we want to be forgiven we must ask to be forgiven. To do this we must recognize and repent of our sins. And the is the fourth thing we must understand. Proverbs 28:13 says, “He who conceals his sins does not prosper, but whoever confesses and renounces them finds mercy.” Forgiveness is established by our confession: “If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness (1 John 1:9) Christ offers this free give of forgiveness, salvation, and eternal life to all of us. Christ said, “Whoever is thirsty, let him come; and whoever wishes, let him take the free gift of the water of life (Revelation 22:17)
Folks, there is no righteous deed we can do that will earn us a place in heaven. We come to Christ empty-handed. We can take no credit for salvation: For it is by grace you have been save through faith and that not of yourselves it is the gift of God not of works so that no one can boast. (Ephesians 2:8-9).
Many assume that their religious activities will get them into heaven. Many assume that their good deeds will get them into heaven. Many assume they will get into heaven because they are religious or active in their church. But Jesus said, Not everyone who says to me Lord, Lord will enter the kingdom of heaven, but only he who does the will of my Father who is in heaven. Many will say to me on that day, Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in your name, and in your name drive out demons and perform many miracles? Then the Bible says that Jesus will tell them plainly, “I never knew you, Away from me you evildoers.”
Every one of us must make a conscious decision to accept Christ’s sacrificial death on our own behalf. We must each choose to accept Christ and surrender control of our life to him so we can all be certain that our name is written in the Lamb’s Book of Life. Christianity is nothing more and nothing less than a relationship with Jesus Christ. Either you know Him and He knows you or you don’t know Him and He doesn’t know you. Only by knowing Him and He knowing you will you enter heaven.
So let me ask you. Have you accepted this free gift? Have you confessed and repented of your sins? Have you Asked Christ to forgive you? Have you Placed your trust in Christ’s death and resurrection on your behalf? Have you asked Jesus to be your Lord and empower you to follow Him? It would be tragic for you to miss this opportunity to be prepared for death. Like John, we all, no exceptions, will all go through the experience called death. May your death open to eternal life in Heaven. Let’s pray.
Biblical Truth Matters 